Each day I like to make a effort to improve. How can I be a better person then I was yesterday?
Recently, my husband and I had a fight. It wasn't pretty. We were arguing about him being away a lot of the time. I've been feeling second place a lot.
During the argument he asked "What am I not doing for you?" He proceeded saying "I've gone to school and progressed so that you could stay at home more. I've given you a beautiful daughter. I pay the bills, I cook us dinner every night. What am I missing? "
I shot back "I'm a grown woman. I don't need you to DO anything for me. I need you to be with me."
His tone softened and he questioned "...and how can do that for you more?"
I paused. "Well, I appreciate you doing all those things you mentioned for me, but I feel most loved when you are by my side. We all have different ways of feeling, expressing, and showing our love, and mine is quality time. I understand you will have school, meetings, trips, etc, but when you do, I expect a little more time with you before and after you leave. I need that time. It helps me get through the hard times."
"I can do that."
and in little small ways he has. He is awesome!
As I've been reviewing our conversation I realized something else about myself. The way I like to SHOW my love is through gift giving.
I've realized though.... while that's the way I like to show I care it isn't always the way people want me to. Not everyone needs gifts to feel appreciated. They may need my time. They may need my help. They may need compliments, or maybe just a hug.
Gift giving can be especially hard when money is tight. So what then? How can I show it?
I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and listen more closely how I can be most helpful to those I hold dear.
Join me!
To learn more on the topic read This book.
2 comments:
I completely agree. Most people give love in their "love language", because it's what they would like to receive. I now watch people carefully to see what they do to understand what love language they're talking. It brings me a lot of joy to speak their language. And even if it's not my top language, I try to receive love however people give it, realizing it speaks volumes about them. Most people don't think about the HOW of how to love someone, but it's almost as important as the love itself. When sending any message, sending can be important, but RECEIVING the message is integral too. I've learned this extensively with Lucas, because my initial reaction to having a child meant lots of physical touch, but he doesn't care for it. He'll accept it, but he doesn't care for it. I've had to learn other ways to show my love. It was heartbreaking at first, but I was soothed to simply understand that it's just the sending and receiving of the love; it does not alter the love. It's been difficult for me because people mostly don't know my love language, don't speak it, and don't care to. It's not common anymore in this day and age. I'm adapting. :)
Those are great words at the picture. You have a great, loving and caring husband, but there are also those who think they earn money for their family and that's enough. I really hope my husband will behave like yours, when we'll have a baby. We've already done everything from this list: http://rocketparents.com/6-things-to-know-and-do-before-getting-pregnant/, so we're officially ready)
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