Lesson Learned

What I've learned about Olivia's recurrent battle with illness:

Ibuprofen does a better job at getting rid of the fever, but it upset her stomach more.

Tylenol doesn't do as good of a job at getting the fever (but it's okay), but she tolerates it more. She'll eat more when given tylenol than ibuprofen.

If you have to use ibuprofen alternate between it and tylenol to be safe.

Do NOT go to the Doctors office unless it's URGENT. She catches everything and I'm almost POSITIVE she's contracted sickness while there.

Day 1 is mild, Day 2 is worse. Day 3 & 4 are at the climax, and day 5&6&7 are recovery.

Baths are a Godsend and will help clean out all the mucus and help her breathe easier.

Humidifier is good for coughs, but don't use if she's got a temperature (it will make the room really hot---I need to get a cool mist humidifier).

Honey can help for a cough.

Vicks rub helps on chest and buttoms of feet.

Essential oils help with breathing (a tiny bit).

Wash hands constantly---after going to the store, the park, friends, the bathroom, before eating, etc.

Eat healthy foods and drink liquids.

Don't pressure feedings. If she's not hungry, don't fight it. (Ive been thrown up on)

If she's not eating, let her eat ANYTHING (even junk) It will help her regain energy and strength so that she CAN eat healthy again.

Say prayers, ask for prayers in her behalf.

Do not listen to others if they say "Its just allergies, it's a cold, or they are over it."

Do not get angry with others. (They don't understand).

Never judge another mom or their child's circumstances.

Kids get sick, it's just a part of life. *sigh* But please don't tell me this! I already am aware.

Snuggle lots--its okay to not get things done.<--I need to be better at this one.

Always carry clorox wipes and hand sanitizer when not at home for emergencies. Otherwise normal hand washing.

Vitamins help prevent. Any type of vitamin C is good. Acidophilus helps with her gut.

Excessive milk makes more mucus and causes constipation. Clear liquids are better!

A pacifier when dropped MUST be cleaned, and only used at night or naps.

 Benadryl helps for sleeping at night (if you get the okay from your Dr.)

Do NOT make her more upset then she already is... shell get herself worked up and throw up.

Throwing up doesn't always mean upset stomach (at least for Olivia).  90% of the time it's just been access mucus that she can't get rid of.  You'll know if it's a upset stomach by what comes up and the smell.

Unfinished Business

....I really hate change. I'm sure I've mentioned only a billion times that fact and I'm sorry, but I really do.

I think after my dad died and I was forced to move, change schools, and change pretty much everything  without my consent that it certainly warped my perspective on things. New friends, new ward, new house, new school, new bedroom, new town, new everything, AND then there were things that I no longer had. Like a dad. That's a lot of change..It's like I lived as two different people: Emery County Kira, and Utah County Kira.

Don't get me wrong, I think there's been a lot of positives that come about and  I'm certainly not suggesting that we shouldn't have moved after my dad passed. I've learned and grown a lot. It's help me realize that I can choose happiness in any circumstance, that I can do hard things, and probably most importantly it's strengthened my testimony in the Gospel. I'm so thankful for the promise of families lasting forever and for the comfort and peace that Heavenly Father has given me during hard times.

But you know, I'd be lying if I said it was easy or that I haven't become a bit jaded in the process. I still remember sitting in my  this foreign place that was now my house and just crying, weeping, and sobbing to my Grammi "Life isn't fair!"

It rocked my world to say the least. Shook me up bad and obviously did some damage on my general outlook.

I've been having nightmares lately. Lots of dreams about being trapped, kidnapped, or worse.

A friend helped me realize that I feel pretty powerless in my life and I think she's right.

I'm a lot stronger of a person than I was as my 16 yr old self, but I still cringe on the inside when I'm asked to conform, or transition into a different setting.

I just want to feel safe! I don't like being thrown into the tides and being thrashed from one wave to the next. I know I won't drown (i'm a fighter), but it's exhausting.

I haven't always known how to cope and haven't always done so in healthy ways. Maybe I still dont.

One way I've managed to do that is to live my life consistently as I possibly can. To have things to depend on, to rely on. Things that I CAN control.  To have a schedule, to plan, and most importantly to prepare.

Pregnancy was extremely hard for me. I was sick and terrified almost the entire 9 months. I was so so so afraid. I had no idea what to expect and automatically assumed the very worst.

Thankfully Olivia was the best baby ever! But I'm in another phase in my life where my security feels breached again.My job is constantly changing it's policies, its departments, it's roles,  and sadly it's commission structure.. It effects my pay and my sanity. My husband's job hours changes every 4 months, and my now toddler is wanting more and more independance. *cries*

I think having these changes would be hard for ANYONE in my position, but add my complex to change.... and Viola! You get nightmares and anxiety attacks. *hides in a corner*

Sometimes I wish that I could just change my circumstances, but that wouldn't really be solving the problem and I know better then to run away.

The problem is, I need to accept and welcome change.

I really want to learn to be more flexible and adaptable. In many many ways I have, but as you can see it still haunts me.

I'm okay... I am, but I want to be better. I MUST be better. I can't keep living like this. I must take care of myself. I will.

I can do it!

House updates.

New Wall Decor

New TV and mounted in our bedroom.

BEFORE Bleh, old kitchen. 

We still have to gloss and put on knobs to the cabinets, but it's coming along. Eventually we will mount our microwave/buy all stainless steal appliances. One thing at a time.

Our next project is to have our little girls party, then buy a TV stand/fireplace, and dining table set.

AFTER Goodbye 90s Kitchen!

It's been fun to update. Actually it's been kinda stressful, but the seeing the RESULTS has been fun! More updates to come!

2 year pictures

Blessed

Do you ever feel God pushing you in a certain direction?

Like you THINK you're on the right path, but not quite sure. Then out of no where, for no apparent reason all these things start happening that seem a bit too perfect to be coincidental.

I have. You want to know whats weirdest part?

It's about stuff you wouldn't think is even important! You know, superficial, materialistic, STUFF! Yes stuff! I said it. Stuff that we're taught shouldn't matter.

But everything matters, and I've learned if it's important to you.. it's important to him.

Every day Heavenly Father sends me a little message and says "I hear you." and I'm thankful for that.

I know one day, years from now, everything will string together beautifully and it will all make sense.... but for now I'm in awe of the mystery.

Thank you God for your blessings. You bless me every day.

Cherish

A chip off the old block

Recently, I've discovered some characteristics and qualities about Olivia... that are JUST LIKE HER DAD.

For one she has a incredible memory. We read her a book twice, and she's got it memorized. She'll then read it back to us. Not verbatim of course, but you get the jist of what it's about.

For Christmas... Olivia got a box set of DR Seuss board books. It's SO adorable to hear her "read" those.

James does have a REALLY good memory. He told me he has memories as far back at 2 yrs old. He also as a child had every disney song memorized (after only watching them a few times) and when we were dating he did GREAT at reciting scriptures.

The second thing that Olivia does that is JUST like James is... if she likes something... she CAN NOT GET enough.

If you know James, you know this is true. For instance. If we are watching a movie, and there is a funny joke James ever since he was little (and still to this very day) has to rewind and watch it over and over and over again. The same with Olivia.

There is a page in Hop on Pop that she just loves. It's the one that Pat sits on cats, hats, bats, and has a picture of him almost sitting on a cactus. Olivia LOVES cactuses! We taught her that if you touch it, it will poke you and hurt. So this is how Olivia reads the book:

"Cup, Pup"

"Bed, Bed"

"See, Bee"

"No Pat NO!!!!!!!" "Don't sit on that" "Cactus! Ouch that hurt!"

You then try to turn the page and she wont have it. She then repeats that page over and over and over again. Reading and adding her own commentary to it.

Finally after maybe 10 times. Shell reluctantly turn the page.

We get to the last page "Ask me tomorrow, not today" and are just about to close it when of course we have to turn back to the Cactus page to look at it and repeat it all over again.

Sometimes you may think it's annoying, but it just shows she is passionate. Just like her Dad. Which I think is what is going to make them both very successful.

She's hyper and a climber LIKE HER DAD! Susan told me that one day she found James on a bookcase when he was about Olivia's age.

Olivia loves climbing on top the kitchen table, the kitchen counters, the bed, her slide, her rocking horse, and anything else she sees.

These are just a few of the similarities I have noticed between the two loves of my life.

I've had a lot of time to think about them and I keep thinking of the phrase everyone told me when I was pregnant. That having a child will "cement" us together.

At the time I was kind of put off by that statement. It kind of felt like they were saying that if we had children it would make it more difficult to get a divorce or something.  Not that I want a divorce period, but it just felt like they were saying like LOVE between two people might not be enough.

I've come to realise though, that's not what it means. At least not to me.

Having a child is like falling in love all over again. You count down the minutes until you get to see them. Your happier with them around. It makes everything okay... even during hard times, because you have them.

I know that's how I feel about Olivia, but it's also how I feel about James. Its made me take a deeper look at his roots and why he is the way he is.. and I love those things about both of them.

They are my everything!