My Breast feeding journey.
When I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. I asked a group of women in a mommy group how they prepared for breast feeding. If I should be reading anything or what I should know. Most of the women said it's kind of like riding a bike. You can read all the books in the world, but until you actually do it, theres no real way to prepare for it.
After hearing that, I kind of just dropped the whole issue and figured I'd deal with it when I needed to. When Olivia was born after she was cleaned up a little they handed her to me, and she immediatley made eye contact with me. (Just like in this picture)
After hearing that, I kind of just dropped the whole issue and figured I'd deal with it when I needed to. When Olivia was born after she was cleaned up a little they handed her to me, and she immediatley made eye contact with me. (Just like in this picture)
She was not dressed and neither was I. The nurse that had helped me during labor stayed and showed me how I should feed her. She attached Livis mouth to my nipple. She latched on perfectly and sucked for a few quick minutes. Pretty easy. I had this!
Later that day nurses asked if I wanted her in my room with me, or just to be woken up when she was hungry. I took the advice of my aunt and asked for rest (to prepare myself for the next few sleepless nights) Rest sounded awesome anyways so I told them to just bring her in when she got hungry.
It was amazing how I woke up in the middle of the night and yearned to see my baby. I already missed her. I pressed the button to call for a nurse and asked them to bring her in. They did. As soon as I saw her I felt joy surface within my heart and I was happy to be with her again at last (even though it was only a few short hours). During those times, I did try to nurse her. THis time was different. She seemed so uninterested. She was more interested in looking around and at me, and since she wasn't acting very hungry or fussy. I just let her be.
The second day I was there. I think I was a little more aware of Livis need for calories. The day before I kind of just felt on cloud 9 and in a daze. It seemed like a dream, almost too good to be true. Now that I was letting my reality sink in I knew I needed to start practicing nursing.
I had the lactation consultants come in and show me, and Ill be completely honest. They really weren't that helpful or nice. They told me to do the football position, that that came easiest for new born babies. That felt SO unnatural to me. Breast feeding is supposed to be a time to bond and snuggle and that just wasn't happening. I tried the other way but she just wouldn't latch. It was extremely frusterating. I felt like they just made a few suggestions. Tried for a minute and then left. I needed HELP! This was a new process for me and my baby. We didn't know what we were doing.
Finally someone suggest pumping my colestrom and feeding it through a tube. So I did that. It made me feel relieved knowing she was getting sustenance, but in the long run... I think that only added to Olivias frustration of the boob. It took several minutes for anything to come out, and she didnt like working for it.
The last night I was there the nurse asked how feeding her was going. I explained my concerns. She suggested a nipple shield. That DID help a little better, but she still was upset about little to nothing coming out. (In hind sight, I think I should have pumped for 2 minutes so that my let down would be ready for her the first few sips)
She explained that Olivia hand lost almost 8 ounces. She said it was normal to loose weight when they were born, but she worried about her loosing much more. She offered to feed her some formula. Explaining that might give her some more energy to actually try to nurse the next feeding. I really didnt want her to do that.. but I was worried about her loosing any more weight so I reluctantly let her.
IT did give her more energy, but not to nurse. The next day came about and I asked my mother in law to help me. It was the day we would be leaving. She was very encouraging and supportive, but once again. Most of the words of encouragement or suggestions didn't seem to make a difference. It didn't matter what we tried.
When I got home I got really nervous. No one was there to help me. I propped myself on the bed and tried for a while to get her to nurse. It was killing my back and she just seemed so content. She really didn't try very hard (The stinker) A few more attempts of this and I had had it. I got out my pump and started pumping and she immediatley gulped and guzzled the liquid out. I didn't know what else to do. My baby NEEDED to eat.
When James was home he'd try to help me, but once again it was hard to get her to latch, and if she did she would get frusterated.
A few more failed attempts and I just gave up. I knew I had to be going back to work anyways and shed need to get use to the bottle. So I just pumped and gave her expressed milk.
Let me tell you. I really don't recommend doing this. Pumping is what I refer to as. Double the trouble. Maybe triple the trouble. You don't have a life. I pumped. fed. washed the bottles, and pumped again. It was a vicious awful cycle.
At around 3 weeks my supply was up and instead of pumping every 2 hours. I could actually go every 4. I made enough for exactly two feedings. That made my life so much easier and managable, but still.. super hard.
Now 3 months later I'm having trouble yet again. My supply has climaxed and isn't going to make more then what it is, but her demands are still growing. I know I will need to supplement with formula.
This broke my heart. I kept beating myself up over I wish I would have tried harder to nurse (and next time I WILL try harder).
But I felt so good knowing that at least she'd still be getting 80% of the "good stuff". I hesitated buying formula for so long (after all I had a whole freezer full of milk still left) because I just knew she wouldn't be getting the antibodies.
I searched countless hours, and called countless stores looking for the best formula option I could for my baby. I researched asked friends and cried over the whole thing.
I finally made a decision and found this amazing organic formula. I was in LOVE with it. Completely organic, they used cane sugar instead of the regular kind. The whole deal. I felt happy knowing I did my research and what I considered to be good. (Even though all formulas are good and meet the FDA standards)
Bad idea. I should have bought formula before she was ever born! Even with my next child if they nurse I will still feed them a bottle every once in a while of formula that way if I have to go somewhere or leave them or if my supply goes down there won't be a such a transition.
Now she struggles with it. She sometimes will drink it hands down with out a problem, other times shell drink a sip and look like you just poisoned her. I know she doesn't really like the taste. Sometimes shell even put up eating strikes and refuse to eat and turn her head or shell spit it out. I think it may even upset her stomach a tiny bit. Even if I give her my milk, she seems uninterested at even the thought of drinking after that. I even tried different bottles to see if that would make a difference. Nope.
Oh, and when she got sick and I was worried about it being my milk my husband and I impulsively threw out most of my freezer supply. (with the exemption of about 5 bags)
It was amazing how I woke up in the middle of the night and yearned to see my baby. I already missed her. I pressed the button to call for a nurse and asked them to bring her in. They did. As soon as I saw her I felt joy surface within my heart and I was happy to be with her again at last (even though it was only a few short hours). During those times, I did try to nurse her. THis time was different. She seemed so uninterested. She was more interested in looking around and at me, and since she wasn't acting very hungry or fussy. I just let her be.
The second day I was there. I think I was a little more aware of Livis need for calories. The day before I kind of just felt on cloud 9 and in a daze. It seemed like a dream, almost too good to be true. Now that I was letting my reality sink in I knew I needed to start practicing nursing.
I had the lactation consultants come in and show me, and Ill be completely honest. They really weren't that helpful or nice. They told me to do the football position, that that came easiest for new born babies. That felt SO unnatural to me. Breast feeding is supposed to be a time to bond and snuggle and that just wasn't happening. I tried the other way but she just wouldn't latch. It was extremely frusterating. I felt like they just made a few suggestions. Tried for a minute and then left. I needed HELP! This was a new process for me and my baby. We didn't know what we were doing.
Finally someone suggest pumping my colestrom and feeding it through a tube. So I did that. It made me feel relieved knowing she was getting sustenance, but in the long run... I think that only added to Olivias frustration of the boob. It took several minutes for anything to come out, and she didnt like working for it.
The last night I was there the nurse asked how feeding her was going. I explained my concerns. She suggested a nipple shield. That DID help a little better, but she still was upset about little to nothing coming out. (In hind sight, I think I should have pumped for 2 minutes so that my let down would be ready for her the first few sips)
She explained that Olivia hand lost almost 8 ounces. She said it was normal to loose weight when they were born, but she worried about her loosing much more. She offered to feed her some formula. Explaining that might give her some more energy to actually try to nurse the next feeding. I really didnt want her to do that.. but I was worried about her loosing any more weight so I reluctantly let her.
IT did give her more energy, but not to nurse. The next day came about and I asked my mother in law to help me. It was the day we would be leaving. She was very encouraging and supportive, but once again. Most of the words of encouragement or suggestions didn't seem to make a difference. It didn't matter what we tried.
When I got home I got really nervous. No one was there to help me. I propped myself on the bed and tried for a while to get her to nurse. It was killing my back and she just seemed so content. She really didn't try very hard (The stinker) A few more attempts of this and I had had it. I got out my pump and started pumping and she immediatley gulped and guzzled the liquid out. I didn't know what else to do. My baby NEEDED to eat.
When James was home he'd try to help me, but once again it was hard to get her to latch, and if she did she would get frusterated.
A few more failed attempts and I just gave up. I knew I had to be going back to work anyways and shed need to get use to the bottle. So I just pumped and gave her expressed milk.
Let me tell you. I really don't recommend doing this. Pumping is what I refer to as. Double the trouble. Maybe triple the trouble. You don't have a life. I pumped. fed. washed the bottles, and pumped again. It was a vicious awful cycle.
At around 3 weeks my supply was up and instead of pumping every 2 hours. I could actually go every 4. I made enough for exactly two feedings. That made my life so much easier and managable, but still.. super hard.
Now 3 months later I'm having trouble yet again. My supply has climaxed and isn't going to make more then what it is, but her demands are still growing. I know I will need to supplement with formula.
This broke my heart. I kept beating myself up over I wish I would have tried harder to nurse (and next time I WILL try harder).
But I felt so good knowing that at least she'd still be getting 80% of the "good stuff". I hesitated buying formula for so long (after all I had a whole freezer full of milk still left) because I just knew she wouldn't be getting the antibodies.
I searched countless hours, and called countless stores looking for the best formula option I could for my baby. I researched asked friends and cried over the whole thing.
I finally made a decision and found this amazing organic formula. I was in LOVE with it. Completely organic, they used cane sugar instead of the regular kind. The whole deal. I felt happy knowing I did my research and what I considered to be good. (Even though all formulas are good and meet the FDA standards)
Bad idea. I should have bought formula before she was ever born! Even with my next child if they nurse I will still feed them a bottle every once in a while of formula that way if I have to go somewhere or leave them or if my supply goes down there won't be a such a transition.
Now she struggles with it. She sometimes will drink it hands down with out a problem, other times shell drink a sip and look like you just poisoned her. I know she doesn't really like the taste. Sometimes shell even put up eating strikes and refuse to eat and turn her head or shell spit it out. I think it may even upset her stomach a tiny bit. Even if I give her my milk, she seems uninterested at even the thought of drinking after that. I even tried different bottles to see if that would make a difference. Nope.
Oh, and when she got sick and I was worried about it being my milk my husband and I impulsively threw out most of my freezer supply. (with the exemption of about 5 bags)
And once again.. here I struggle trying to figure out what to do next. She needs more milk to thrive and Im just not quite cutting it. She needs just a tiny bit extra. My heart breaks that I may have to switch formulas after all the research and time I spent looking for it. I'm not giving up yet, but this really has been quite the ordeal and it scares me thinking she won't eat.
I pass no judgement on anyone who chooses to Breast feed, bottle feed, formula feed or whatever because honestly it's down right difficult no matter what you decide to do.
The only thing that I can say is that I am grateful for my precious little daughter and that no experience is wasted. I have learned SO much these last few months.
The only thing that I can say is that I am grateful for my precious little daughter and that no experience is wasted. I have learned SO much these last few months.
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