My Feelings/A journal Entry.

Today feels bitter sweet to me as I rehash the things going on in my life.

Bitter because James and I are in the college stage of life, and we don't really get to see each other that much. Mondays James has "guys night" (which I think is healthy and makes him happy) Tuesday is Young Women. Wednesday is errands and catch up day. Thursday I grocery shop and clean.. and then James heads to school. Friday James and I do have sometime to order some din din and watch a tv show together! I enjoy that a lot, but its very short lived. Saturday for me is Gym, shower, clean, and then packing while James is off to school. Sunday is the only real day that we have to spend time together and generally we are SO tired that it's not as appreciated as it probably should be.

I'm not complaining. This is typical for anyone our age and I don't really expect special treatment, however with James new schedule this week he has several night shifts and while I am extremely grateful he has a job... I can't help but feel a little lonely. :( Girls night anyone?

I also am disheartened about moving because on one hand.... I've really come to love and grow attached to my little apartment. There are so many things that I really like about it. It's so nice and clean. It has washer and dryer hook ups. It has a car port... and it has BRIGHT white walls and lights to keep me happy during the winter. Its not just a house to me... Its my HOME.

People I love surround me here. I love my ward. I've gotten to know so many of them! First it was the Relief Society who surrounded me and got me involved in the ward Christmas Party. Then it was the Primary where I grew to know so many of children, and lastly being called as secretary of the Young Women Program. This has been the most challenging calling for me. It requires a lot of time, service, and patience, but with that being said... It was a calling that helped me stretch beyond myself and has taught me to give despite what is going on in my life. I've always been willing to give, but its mostly been on my own time... I've learned to give when I am asked not just when its convenient and I have really come to understand and appreciate the people I work with. I fall into comparison with how much they do. In a lot of ways I am intimidated immensely by these powerful women. They make it seems so effortless while I struggle to keep up, but I've learned to not worry about what they may think of me, but what the Lord thinks of me. He knows I am trying my hardest and thats all that matters.

I'm sad because I wish I had more time to really "grow" in my calling or had least done better then I have. I still have suuuuch a ways to go. however I will say that I am SO grateful that I accepted the calling despite my insecurities and most important sticking to it and not giving up.

I've had such a fun time. Some of my favorite memories are: Our 3 mile walk prep for camp. Hiking to the Y. Making headbands. Making Mormon Ads for our new room and the constant spirit that is during our lessons on Sunday.

Now comes the sweet part of whats been going on! This chapter of our life maybe closing, I am hopeful and excited for our next! This will be the first time we have ever "owned" a house, and I feel that is one step closer to our goal of having a family :)

I look forward to being able to decorate our new house. I've already bought some silky white floral throw pillows for the couch, and I am ordering a cute modern purple and white area rug for our living room!

I am excited to be able to own pets, and as soon as we move in, James and I will be on the search for some cute kittens!

With the new house, comes a new ward.. and I look forward to being surrounded by familiar friends (I believe we will be in the same ward we were in before we moved last time) and maybe I will get a new calling that I can feel really strong and confident in. I would love to feel as though I am making a contribution and I think that can happen if I get something I am good at. Maybe this time around, the people I work with will be inspired by me ;) (kidding)

James has less then a year left until he will have his associates degree, which he will hopefully find him a better job that he can slowly climb the stepping ladder to a future CAREER as he gets his bachelors degree..

Yes... We are on to a new chapter in this Journal of our life together, and if its going down in the records... I must state, its been a great story thus far! One that has included great character development (haha) unexpected turns, gasps, sighs and living in our "Happy Ever After" .