Happily Ever After

I had a epiphany today, and I just wanted to expound and express my feelings for my own personal record. Feel free to read or skip over it as you will.

I had a really hard day on Wednesday. Currently there are so many questions that I often ask myself... that I don't have a answer to.

Should we buy a house?
When will James be done with school? Or Will he ever?
What will be his career? Will he be able to find something?
Where will we live?
When should we start a family?

Along with many other questions that life brings with it. I get discouraged, and I have my rough days... Almost all of my friends have the answer to those questions. They may not have it all worked out, but they've got their foundation. They are farther then James and I, and I look at them with such longing.(I'm not jealous, I just wish I had that myself) but lets just say... sometimes *it gets really hard*

and then I take a step back I look back at my past and how lonely, sad, and heartbroken that little girl was with the world. She was so frightened and unaware what was around her. She didn't see who she was.... or what she was capable of...Sometimes I wish I could just go back and hold her myself and tell her it will be okay and what is in store for her.

and then my thoughts bring me to the realization that I am not that girl anymore! I have come so far! I am strong, healthy, and for the most part happy, no scratch that extremely happy. Even though things are kind of guessing game right now, I'm so glad I am where I am right now! I am so glad I am past that hard time. I wake up in the morning with such tremendous gratitude just for the fact that I know I won't suddenly have a anxiety attack! I see color, and I feel joy. I am content.

Sure, life can be sooooo hard, and I have to be patient and forgiving of myself (no one is perfect), but the one thing I do know and stand proud and tall to say is

I not only know I will be O.k. (probably even better then that)
and that things WILL work out how they are supposed to, (if I stay close to the Lord)

I also know ...

I'll live "my happily ever" just as I have dreamed. (Despite many of the hardships that come and go)

"It's not as bad as you sometimes think it is. It ALL works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it all works out. Put your trust in God and move forward, with faith and confidence in the future. The lord will not forsake us... If we put our trust in him, if we will pray to him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, He will hear our prayers." -President Hinckley