Livi's Birth Story

Olivia Lindsey Morris Birth Story 

I can't believe that I finally get to say I have my very own birth story!!!! Looking back even though it was only a few short days ago I can not fathom that my body went through such tremendous pain, time, and well labor to get this little angel here. I am blown away by the experience. It was nothing like what I thought it would be. Nor what the movies make it out to be.  Really there is no way to accurately describe until you go through it yourself. It's beautiful.

Now it seems like a very little price to pay as I hear my little one cue in the background. Even the morning sickness (Which by the way.. was far worse than labor) was all worth it.

So it started out March 24th at 4:00 pm. I was getting very anxious and even more frustrated that I was still pregnant and was thinking maybe it would never end. That day  I had my weekly appointment with Dr Skinner. Last week he offered to strip my membranes, but James had a class and needed to if at all possible give his presentation so I opted to wait one more week.  That day I would get them stripped. I remember being nervous that it would be painful.. I mean- it could put me into labor after all. He checked me. I was 90% effaced and at a 4. He thought it was very likely that the procedure would help. So I agreed, clenched my fist, and held my breath. The so called "pain" I was worried about was nothing. Just like a exam. Uncomfortable, but totally bearable.  I was a little disappointed with such little pain, I thought I would have very little outcome.

At the end of the appointment he said "Since you are so close.... if you really wanted to, we could just induce you tomorrow." This was so exciting to me! But, I really wanted to have Olivia Natural and having pitocin injected and starting me--seemed like a slippery slope of what may actually happen in the delivery room. So I told him, I wasn't sure. He said it was okay and that if I changed my mind to call him and hell schedule me.

I talked to James about being induced. He was all for it... but deep in my heart I was really worried. I really didn't want to be induced. That night I said a prayer. I was feeling little cramps-but nothing that made me think twice. I mean I hoped it was, but I had hoped many times before with no success. I went to bed around 11:30 disappointed that nothing had happened.  Two hours later suddenly I woke up with no doubts in my mind what was going on. "JAMES!" I yelled. "I'm having a contraction. A REAL contraction." He opened his eyes groggily (He had just barely come to bed). He asked "Really? How far apart are they?" At that point I realized this was my first contraction and I had to wait and time them. For me, I thought the would be like 20 minutes apart, and then 15 minutes apart and 10 and so forth.. but when it actually came to timing them-They were almost 5 minutes apart on the dot! We waited an hour to see if they persisted and they did so we called Susan, my mother in law and told her we were headed to the hospital.

We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the heart monitor and contraction tracker.. and then we waited. The nurse at the hospital  was VERY unsympathetic and told me that if I didn't progress that I would in fact be sent home. I told her that my doctor said I was super close, so close that he was going to induce me later this morning if I wanted.. and asked her if I could just stay. She was sassy and said something like "Thats up to your doctor. We will call him in a hour if you haven't progressed" and left. She really irked me and I didn't like her. I was glad that my mother in law was coming and that at least I would have some compassion and support from another women whom I loved in the room. My mother in law did come. She was really great. She has had 8 kids natural and was very supportive of me (no matter what happened.) When I would have a contraction she would rub my back, or stay quiet, or grab me drinks to replenish after. The first little while I was really doing well-even talking and joking in between contractions.

A hour passed and I DID progress. I was at a 5. Fewf! The mean nurse was at the end of her shift and another nurse named Amy came in. She was very pretty, and super sweet. I was SO relieved that she was going to be with me the duration of the time I was in labor. My sister in law Michelle came to bring  a few items we forgot and asked if she could stick around. I agreed she could stay.

At that point, Ill be honest my contractions were getting more intense and I started to get a little frightened. I kept asking the nurse and my mother in law "How much worse does it get?". I KNEW I could handle this pain.. and even more, but how much more I was unsure. The unknown was a very frightening place. They were always SO nice. My mother in law was saying that I was already half way there and that my pain would be gradual and that even though they would get worse.. it would be manageable.

Another hour passed and they came and checked me. I was at a 7! This excited me! I was 70% done! I could totally do this. It seems right after she checked me the pain got even worse. So bad to the point that I did start to cry silently a little.  I would have my mother in law Susan hold my left hand and my husband hold my right hand when it happened. I would look deeply into my husbands eyes and try and focus. This was extremly hard.

My nurse amy came in every so often and kept saying "Wow, I am so impressed with how well you are handling this. Most moms are worse when they are at 3. You totally can do this natural and unmedicated!". My Mother in law said the same thing. They all were very proud. Even my husband was surprised at how I was reacting.

Another hour passed, and I was still surviving but at this point the contractions were 2 minutes apart and for most of the time, I was just very very silent. I was trying to work with my body--but it was very difficult to do. They checked me again-I was hoping I had progressed like I had the previous. They checked me  and I was still at a 7.

I was devastated. I went up to 2 the last hour, and none the next. How in the world? They asked if I wanted to get my water broke to speed up the process. I told them that I didn't want to (because I knew that if they did that the pain would get even worse.)

The next hour I finally started to get a little verbal. Saying how painful it was, and how I wanted to be done. I never screamed or yelled, but I def let everyone in the room know that I wasn't happy. This was super hard.

They checked me again and I was still at a 7. At that point I completely broke down. I was on 2 hours of sleep and my pain was out of this world. I looked at my mother in law and said "I think I want a epidural." She asked me if that was really what I wanted.. and I told her I was unsure. She told me it was up to me and that I had to decide. The nurse Amy suggested once again breaking my water, but once again--the fear of having the pain be worse than where I was at was unimaginable. She said she could bring in the anthesialogist and I could talk to him about my concerns and then make a choice.  He came in. I voiced my concerns about having scholosis and about how when I got my wisdom teeth out, I was the 1 in one million that got the nervous damage and to this day I didn't have all feeling in my mouth. I was worried that because I had scholosis the shot might not work.. or worse paralyze me. Irrational? Maybe.. but having been completely numb in my mouth for over 3 years you can understand my hesitation and realization that things can go wrong even when you have a incredible doctor. He was very sympathetic and told me that nothing would happen and that even girls with rods in their backs he was able to do. I took a silent moment and contemplated what I wanted to do.

I had worked long and hard and I didn't want to regret any decision I made. I said a quick silent prayer and felt good about doing the epidural. So I told them I wanted it, and that after the epidural was effective they could break my water like they had wanted to do.

They had me turn to the side and they put it in my back. During that period-I was having a contraction. That contraction was THEE worst contraction out of the entire labor process. It shook and rattled my body and was the most excruciating pain I have ever endured.  Since having felt many contractions and knowing that position is key to managing them.. I knew that laying on my side was why it was SOOOOOO bad.

The epidural DID take the edge off, but it seemed to only be really effective on one side. They said it worked with gravity and they tried propping my body up. That kind of helped but I admit I still felt a pretty good portion of it on the one side.

They checked me after a few minutes and then broke my water. They put a catheter in emptied everything. After that they checked me and I was a "finger tip away" meaning 9.5.

I was shocked to be that close. They said that the because I was in so much pain that instead of working WITH my body- I was clenching and tightening and that thats why I stayed at a 7 for so long. They said that the epidural in this case helped me because my body could relax somewhat and do what it needed to.

The nurse came in and said. "All first births are long. You could have gone natural if you would have progressed faster. I bet with your next child, you can fulfill your wishes."

I don't want to sound like I'm boasting or making excuses, but at that point. I was content and super proud of myself. I still am. It's like my "How to birth like a rock star classes" was saying.  I was totally okay with my decision because I knew I had done my best. I too agreed and knew that with my second child I could do it natural if I wanted-knowing what to expect and that my body would be able to most likely do it quicker. *I*made the choices, not the doctor, and I was extremely blessed to endure and experience it for so long. I was also really grateful I didn't have to be induced!

Finally the doctor came in, I was at 10 and it was pushing time. This made my husband super nervous and was as white as a ghost. He told me that he might throw up.  I too was a bit nervous. For whatever reason my contractions slowed down... and to make a long story, a little shorter... the pushing lasted 3 hours!

At the final moments, they told me "I see hair!" and I started pushing like crazy. James got the nerve to look down and he too was surprised. He totally reacted differently then how he was a moment ago. He got excited too and kept saying "You can do it Kira! She's coming out!". One long push out and she came out. She cried, and looked a little blue. My first words were "Is it a girl?" My husband proclaimed "YES!!!". Next thing I know, The doctor asked James if he wanted to cut the cord and to my astonishment James happily said yes. (Which was not in the cards according to him) but all that changed.

They cleaned her up, measured her, and put her on my chest. 7 lbs. 10 ounces. 19 inches. Completely healthy. She was the most gorgeous baby I have ever seen. By then her skin was full pink. She had a FULL head of dark hair. Her eyes were open and attentive and her lips were puckered and perfect. She looks JUST like James, and to be honest. I really don't care. She can look like James all she wants. She is still mine, and I love her with all my heart.  I may be biased, but if you look at the post below---you can make that judgement for yourself. Isn't she the prettiest baby you have ever seen? Every where we went in the hospital, everyone kept awing and cooing at how adorable she really was.

It's 5 days later and I'm on cloud 9. I haven't been overly tired, like everyone mentions. I think part of that is due to endorphins. I think I've been on a high for the last few days. Tired, but totally wired. Thats slowly diminishing but even so.. Im not that tired. The biggest thing is that I am sore. Not sore enough that I am on any medication or anything but sore enough that it makes everything a little harder to do.

I haven't had any baby blues per say. Really, the only struggle that I have had is nursing (maybe I write about that in another post. ) I seriously have been super lucky and super happy with being a mommy. I also am super blessed because my little angle really isn't super hard. She cries, but even her cry is just a squeaky sweet cry. It's not a upset cry. It's just a "feed me." Or "change me." Or "Love me" cry.

I love kissing her little cheeks, I love dressing her in outfits. I love snuggling her. I love everything about her. James loves her too, and the first night we were home. He worked 8 hours and then came home and let me sleep. That's the amazing guy I married. He's a great father and is so wonderful with her.

Shes already changing so quickly and the days are passing by so fast. Im trying my hardest to eat these moments up.

Being a mom is the best feeling in the world and I know its only going to get easier and better! I love you Livi girl. You're my sweetie and Mommy loves you so much!