Perspective.

The last couple of days have been really good for me!!!!

I found out that my new insurance DOES cover a breast pump 100%.

I am going to be going to birthing classes (How to Birth like Rock Star on Facebook).

My crib has arrived. (We haven't assembled it yet)

I'm buying a bassinet next with a gift card I got from work.

I should be able to buy a few more things with my commission check this month.

I should  be having a baby shower next month (Or at least I hope!)

I got a body pillow, I've iced my back, and propped it up properly at work. (Significantly less discomfort)

It just feels good knowing I'm 2/3 of the way there and that I'm making progress.

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I'm a control freak and pregnancy has pretty much forced me to sit back and just "enjoy" the ride. I couldn't control that I was sick, I couldn't control that I bled, I couldn't control weight gain (well at least not when I so sick.. I just ate what felt good), and well the list could go on and on.

I still don't like the fact that I'm not exactly sure how everything is going to work out with my work schedule, and so forth and that things could change at the drop of the hat!

Lately though something has changed. It's like I've walked into a different room and the scenery has changed. Instantly just like turning on a light switch something inside of me has flipped on.

I feel a peace. 
I feel gratitude.
I feel hopeful.
Dare I even say I feel a tinge excitement creeping in?

Something I haven't dared let myself feel for quite sometime. I feared that something and or rather everything would just go wrong. I think I've just fallen so many times this year that I assumed that falling was just my fate .

I've realized that's not true though. It's been a rough 29 weeks, but I'm making it and you know what ? I have a lot blessings to be grateful for.

I have supportive husband who's helped me through sickness, depression, and stayed with me while I've gained weight, given him attitude, and less attention.

I may feel exhausted ugly and uncomfortable, but I'm not sick anymore and even when I was sick-I don't have cancer, or any other terminal disease.

I have shelter, I have food, I have clothes on my back, and for the most part I've been able to slowly obtain the things I need for our little girl.

and lastly,  I'm pregnant. That is a huge blessing. I don't need to worry about how much weight I gain, or how emotional I've been, if I don't get everything I want for her nursery, or what type of labor I will have. (C section, natural, epidural,) The fact remains I'm pregnant and I'm carrying a little girl inside me right now and That's a miracle.

Perspective has given me a glimpse of how truly wonderful my life actually, and it's given me a glimmer of my soon to be future!

I'm going to be a Mother!I'm really going to be a Mom and I couldn't be more excited!