21 weeks

21 weeks.  Yes, I need to comb my hair. Yes, I need to clean my mirror, and once again yes... I am taking a pic with my tablet! Don't judge!

I feel baby Olivia all the time now. A little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, and A LOT at night. This baby knows martial arts, and likes to kick and move. It doesn't hurt or anything, but for how little she is, Im always surprised and taken by how strong she is. Sign this girl up for dancing, she knows how to move!

So....kind of funny fact. When James and I found out we were having a girl at week 16, we just knew we wanted to name her Olivia. I don't know exactly why or how. We really liked the name Sadie before we ever got pregnant, and then even discussed it. As soon as we saw there was a baby on the ultrasound though, everything became so real. Sadie wasn't even a option. We both knew it too. I can't believe we really liked that name. It sounds so weird and foreign now.

Also, I just realized the other day that I was named after the movie Xanadu and the actress that plays "Kira" is OLIVIA Newton John. We so didn't even plan that, but I think thats really cute because her middle name will be Lindsey (which is named after James middle name who was named after his great grandpa) So now not only does her middle name have significant value, but I guess her first name does too. :)

Finding out the gender has been so surreal. Knowing she's a girl has been the one thing that's really been SO fun. The day I found I out, I practically jumping out of my skin excited. I still can't believe Im having a daughter. My Grammi Borget had 6 boys and 2 girls, and my Grandma Shirley had 5 boys. I have a TON of boy cousins on the Borget side, and those cousins have mostly had sons too. My mom had 1 girl (me) and 2 boys.  On James Dad side they are all boys, and Susan (James Mom) had 5  boys and 3 girls. So boys are VERY common in our family, I secretly hoped for a girl, but I knew that logically it was probably going to be a boy. Which in all honesty, I would love it all the same. There are pros to both genders. I just feel I know more about girl stuff then I do boy stuff.

Another kinda cool thing is that the day before our wedding James had a dream,  a dream that we had a little girl. He shared that with me on our wedding day. That always melted my heart that he shared such a intimate piece of information. It was so flattering to me because not only did he want me to be his wife, but also the mother of his children. I know dreams aren't always "revelation" and that sometimes there is no reason behind it, but now that I know we are having a girl... I really do feel like maybe it was inspired.

My Mom and My Biological Dad always wanted one more girl, but never got one. I really just feel this is Heaven sent.In a way, this is their daughter too. Their grand daughter. My dad would be such a good grandpa, and thats one things that saddens me, but I really feel like this baby has been such a blessing and a miracle.  In fact, I really feel like my Dad got to hold and be with baby Olivia before she came down to earth. Isn't that a neat thought to have.

It's been so hard. I wont' lie. I can't say Ive liked being pregnant. The sickness was bad (at least I felt like it), Ive bloated like a balloon and don't feel very pretty most days, the anxiety and fear of miscarriage (especially with bleeding incident), many bills came up, and to boot  James got laid off (he's found a different job now so its okay).I'm not complaining, or at least Im trying not to, but it's been one heck of a year, and a big adjustment. We've had many things flung in our direction and ya a bit rough, but it's teaching us a lot.

So many things have just worked out, I got moved into a different department last wek. Instead of being in Sales, Im now in Retention. It's sooooooo much easier and less stressful. I liked Sales, but after having James loose his job, I realized I needed something more consistent. As it stands right now, I still get commission, and I got to keep my pay and schedule, so I feel like this was a smart move for my growing family, and once again a big blessing.

James did get laid off, but the timing was interesting. The day I pleaded with the Lord that he would find something that would help our family (and that I would be less stressed) he got laid off. You could call it bitter irony, but you know.. After how fortunate we've been this far, I actually felt like it was a prayer being answered. It's like the saying goes. "When one door closes, another opens". Well as it turns out, James didn't have to wait to long to find something. A week later he found a job where he can work from home. I wont lie, when I heard about it.. I wasn't really sold on the idea. It's the same pay as his last job (minus gas) and it doesn't sound like a career type of position. At first I was kind of like "Really? This is it? This is not the better I was expecting or hoping for." Then I started thinking about it... We may not need a baby sitter if James is at home which would be a HUGE blessing. I don't know how long our junky yellow car is going to last, so once again, if he doesn't have to drive to work-we can probably postpone buying a second car for a while.. and while this job isn't exactly the IDEAL career I had in mind, I think it's the one that will keep us afloat until James gets his degree and find something in his field. I don't know, I could be wrong... but Im REALLY trying to have faith.

There are still so many variables, and unknowns. We still have to buy a lot of stuff, we haven't really bought any baby stuff.  I feel overwhelmed a lot, but with each mile stone, I feel more prepared, and it all seems to just work out. I know it's the Lord, and Im so glad that he is in my life.

Baby Olivia, we love you so much! You've taught me so much, and made me push harder then Ive ever had to. Thank you sweetheart for showing me how strong I can be. You're my little angel. I feel so privileged to be your mother, and I can't wait to meet you.