I'm not saying I'm a guru or a know it all. I'm not saying I look perfect(absolutely not). In fact its just the opposite. The more I learn, the more I realize I know very little.
Nutrition/medication-homeopathics/exercise has always intrigued me. Partially for cosmetic reasons, Id like to look and FEEL young for as long as possible, but I think even more then that is for health reasons. If you look just one post below.. You will notice that my family doesn't have the greatest record for being healthy.
More and more studies are proving that diet and exercise are the biggest prevention for mild cases of depression (even heavy cases) to various diseases.
I don't know about you, but I love life. I really honestly do! I'd like to live as long as I can and experience as much as I can! So you can understand my logic and reason as to why I *TRY* (try is the key word) to keep myself aware and do my part to help my body and even prosperity.
When I first started hitting up the gym, I had 0 desire to run. So I didn't. In fact for a while I was known as the "Elliptical Queen". However probably a little over a year ago I decided to take myself seriously and start running. I've always done about a hour and a half of cardio, and broke it up with 30 minute increments where I could stop, catch my breath and then go again. I thought running for 30 minutes to start out with was a good goal and I could elliptical the remainder of the time. (turns out now reading many self help books/online thats what the they recommend Ha!)
It was hard goal. In fact too hard. So I gave up. Yup not for me. Then I decided I'd try again, but tried running a little slower. I was able to run for 30 minutes. It was hard, but I could do it. I was sore after, but I was convinced I could do it.
I stayed this way for a long time. Just running 30 minutes and then elliptical-ing for the rest of time. One day during a particular hard elliptical session the flip switched on in my head and I thought "It doesn't matter what I'm doing, working out is just plane old hard. I should just try to run longer." Well, too my surprise I ran 30 minutes. Stopped. Drank water and went again for another 15 minutes. Once I had perfected that distance I then added 15 minutes on top of that, until I got to 60 minutes of running and only 30 minutes of elliptical. And then gradually to 90 minutes of running and longer.
I liked running because it made me feel like I worked hard, but I still didn't understand what all the rave was about. Some of my friends called it "their sanity" others called it "their passion". and all I felt it was....was "My workout". I didn't think of it like a hobby or a talent or even a real sport. (no offense runners) I just thought it was a GREAT work out to make me look toned and feel good about myself. I couldn't understand how someone could "love" it.
In fact, several times during those months, Id get injured and think "is this really worth it?" Or "I'm just not a runner" or "I don't have the back for this" etc etc but yet I've never liked feeling like a quitter like I'm giving up.. So i would cross train until I was better and then I would try again.
It was frustrating to loose stamina and rebuild it all over again, but it came back quickly. I think my biggest problem was not feeling confident. Most of the people I knew and associated with are great runners who have years of practice to perfect their pace and form. I didn't like spending money on expensive shoes. I didn't like feeling like a slow or beginner runner.
So little by little I tried to work harder to become faster, run better and for longer.. and slowly but surely my running improved. I even got up to 13 miles. When I gained confidence in myself I liked it a lot more. I liked how it hurt so good! I liked that I was pushing my body in direction it had never gone before and I understood more what my one friend meant by it keeping her sane. It was the endorphin high.
But passion?Common! Singing, dancing, photography... THOSE are passions. In fact. Those are some of my own passions.A passion is something you do for fun. Sure you're happy AFTER you run, but during? Give me a break.
I love dancing. I took 6 years of gymnastics and was on drill team in school. I looooove dancing. In fact there are times I miss school. I miss social dance and doing stunts. The costumes, the parents showing up. The smiles. James will go to work or to school, Ill turn on the hip hop music and just start dancing.
Or singing. I love singing. My husband and I will go in the car, and Ill sing and he'll say "You have such a pretty voice Kira" and hell ask me to sing again.
These are things that I love and I always will, but it's hard to find classes or ways to preform as it can get expensive and hard to find.
Sometimes I feel a little melancholy because James is doing SO well in film (Something he loves) He's going to school and studying subjects he likes. When people ask him what he's doing he can list off goals and achievements and he does so with a smile. Sometimes I feel a little lost myself as I have nothing to show for or what I've worked on.
That is until running. Running is something that I CAN show that I've done and worked on. And that's when I decided that I wanted to run a race. So I signed up for hobbler half.. and so here I am training.
I've ran outside 5 or 6 times now(and several times inside each week). I've even kept up a 8:30 minute pace and hold it while running with friends.(Which surprised me because I thought I'd have to run slower then I do on the treadmill but thats about what I run on one) I can honestly say that I LOOOOVE running. I love feeling my feet hit the ground and feeling my body work. I love it. I never thought I would say that. Ever! but I do.
I don't know what my running time will be for my race or what my future is ahead... but I can honestly say NOW, that I consider it a hobby, it's time that I have with friends or with myself to think. And seriously some of my best thoughts/ and conversations come with running.
I'm so glad that I've stuck with it this far, and even though I KNOOOOOW I have a long ways to go, I'm confident to say Ill get there.
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