Who am I?

So I just gotta put something out here. Ill start by this: Do you know who you are?? and I mean really.

 Some of us don't yet. It takes a number of years of trial and error, making friends, and finding out what is important to you. Not every person is the same. Some people are outgoing and talkative, others are more calm collective and prefer a small group of friends. Some like sports, some like to read, some like both! You get the point.. everyone is unique, different and special :)

I found out who I was in Jr high. I knew I was friendly, talkative, girly, emotional, and very spiritual. As we get older we find out even more who we are..We even change. I recently have come to find, that I love to eat, to read, I am athletic, and I like to learn new things.

Sometimes though, Judgements are passed, things are said, and we let these silly little things stumble us up. We let what others might think take hold of us, and control our life. We let THINGS of no REAL importance define who we are.

Girls in particular do this- A LOT! They spend time thinking about what others might think, and are always comparing themselves to one another. We let weight, how clean our house is, how crafty we are, looks, how much money we make,intelligence, etc define who we are!

While all these things are important and we should be trying to do our own personal best at all these different aspects of life, there is no need to judge someone... or judge yourself and let it define that person or you.

I have come to find that when I judged someone often it comes back to haunt me, and I realized I had no idea why that person was the way they were or why they were doing the things they did. Everything is circumstantial, and its not our place to say what is right and what is wrong. The same goes for yourself. STOP letting someone else money define who YOU are. Stop trying to keep up with the Smith Family. Stop telling yourself you would be complete if you had a boyfriend/husband. Stop telling yourself you would be happier if you weighed 120 lbs. Stop telling yourself you will never add up to be as good as Mrs. X.

We need to be better people. We need to make goals. We do need to work hard. We need to do all these things, but we can achieve them with out putting ourselves down. Putting ourselves down only hurts our self esteem and reaffirms a false belief in ourselves. It only feeds the negativity. Start today by loving yourself.

Most of you have probably already learned this, but as of recently I have had one of those "aha" moments. I have always beat myself up constantly for a number of reasons, and it got to the point where I hated who I was, and something had to change. I either had to be content with the fact that I was horrible disgusting human being and be OK with that, or I had to change my perspective. Simple as that.

Although it was not THAT simple. I decided I would go with perspective, and that means you have to change gears and reverse your way of thinking. I learned that thinking is a vicious cycle. You don't realize how much you put yourself down until you try to correct it. If you don't correct it, it just keeps repeating and repeating itself, which will set you up for heart break after heart break. Once you think something, you must take action. So I took away my scale, limited my time on facebook- to envy others, and worked very hard on not judging others or myself.

At first, I  had a anxiety attack. "If I don't have my scale .. I will get fat!!!" .."If I don't wear make up.. people will think I have let myself go." "If I don't clean my house, people will think I am a bad wife" The  list went on and on, and my heart was pounding a million miles a minute. Those were my fears

We must REMOVE our fear and replace it with Faith. Faith that all things will work out for our own good. I knew I couldn't continue living that way so I pressed forward.

Like I said, this was NOT simple. Its always easier said then done, but after I took away my scale, I felt more inclined to go to the gym and work out. Instead of "this a waste of time, I will weigh the same no matter what I do". I started to view my body as healthy and fit vs I need to look as thin as a rail. I stopped spending so much time looking at other peoples pictures how they had a house, 3 kids, and they were a super model. I spent more time with my husband watching a movie then cleaning the house. and guess what? The light switch turned on! AHA!

I did not get fat! I still keep a tidy house--most of the time! I probably am a better wife if I spend quality time with the hubs vs the dishes being washed.  I am not ugly! In fact, I realized I am doing a pretty dang good job at what I do!

I have good news! I am happy with myself and who I am. I know I have faults, and I am not perfect, but I know I have potential to be better! I am nothing short of a Daughter of God, and I CAN be crafty, and I CAN run 10 miles ( I really can do that one :) ) and I CAN be in YW's. I am good enough, and I have the potential to go far!

Stop with the madness! Stop with the insanity! Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back! You are great! We all are! Stopping letting objects, and accomplishments of other people, define who you are! Define who you are by what you choose to believe. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.

Thats all. Just had to say it. :)